FILM / TV / DIGITAL
Luga Podesta & Brandon Bonfiglio @London Alley
luga@ londonalley.com & email@example.com
MUSIC VIDEO REP
MID WEST COMMERICAL
Harris Hartman @Sloane, Offer, Weber and Dern, LLP.
Jonathan Sauer @Sloane, Offer, Weber and Dern, LLP.
My Bio Written by Kayden Kross
(star of Nekrogoblikon video and many other things...)
Brandon Dermer is, among other things, a food guy. Pizza, if you’re looking for details. Deep-Dish Pizza. Probably because he’s from Chicago. When asked whether he thought the two were related, he seemed to believe they were not. “I would still find Deep-Dish Pizza to be supreme among the pizzas even if I had been born in a bush in Africa,” were his exact words under the pressure of further questioning. But can these things really be known? Chalk up another for the nature/nurture debate. We are, as a species still so unclear of what we really are.
Regular pizza is also okay for Brandon Dermer. He has tried all kinds of pizza around the world, including New York, and probably Italy. These are definitely places that can make a pizza. He will even eat thin crust, if it is what is available. To be honest, he admits, there is no pizza he won’t eat.
In fact, there is no food he won’t eat once. The bush in Africa was revisited as an example. He said that yes, he would eat roasted termites, and monkey brains, if the opportunity arose. He then stressed the word once. Asked to provide a list of the foods he would not eat again after applying the once test, he could only think of anchovies.
Naturally, it was pointed out that some pizzas are made with anchovies.
In light of this conflict, he was forced to determine whether he would still eat such a pizza. It was decided that he would. But he may only do it once.
Other things he likes to eat: beer. Chicago beer (same unknowable question arose and was dismissed, though the evidence now points to more of a nurture influence over nature). Also, Hefeweizen. He believes that German beer is noble since he heard of their rumored law against including more than six ingredients in any one brew. There is an intrinsic purity in the whole system. He is aware of preservatives in lesser beers; and let’s just say, he doesn’t like it.
Or sugar. Lesser beers add sugar. He’s on to this too.
All this to say that Brandon Dermer is a Chicago-bred boy who likes good pizza and beer.
Brandon has pet peeves. They are not many in number, unlike the rolodex of complaints you’ll typically find in the kind of people who shudder if they hear the “whh” in “who”; or worse, the people who shudder if they don’t. He has never been distracted by the regional and class-based differences in the assumed correct pronunciation of “who.” Airplanes, actually, are what irk him. Not the planes but the people on them. And not all of the people on them. Only the ones who scoff at babies. He really hates a baby scoffer. They’re just babies, for Thor’s sake. Their reaction is more natural than the rest of you all sitting there patiently careening through the sky at 35,000 feet. Let them be.
He also hates anything that includes in it’s title “The Real Housewives.” Such things divert valuable resources away from the entertainment industry and directly into the pockets of very bad people, effectively promoting the spread of all things terrible. A blight on the culture, is what it is. But he doesn’t hate all housewives. In fact, he finds most of them to be quite nice. His problem lies specifically with those housewives who contribute nothing to society except endorsements.
Brandon’s favorite color is green. He does not like to name a specific green, such as Kelly green, or chartreuse. But further pressure did bring up hazel green, after his eyes. Brandon won’t wear green, though. He mostly wears black. This probably because he’s from Chicago and it aspires to be New York.
One day, he would like to get in shape. He is convinced that if he resembles any doll, it is Gumby, he says, citing a potbelly. He is otherwise quite thin. No mention was made of the fact that Gumby is actually sans potbelly, but then again, so is Brandon. He tried to push his stomach out to prove the potbelly he was referencing at the time, but nothing came of it. Brandon was allowed to go on. He decided that he doesn’t need to be a Ken Doll, or a G.I. Joe, but something other than Gumby would be nice, he thinks. He also aspires to perform an Ollie on a skateboard, which is basically a jump. He feels inspired by the fact that he can already jump without a skateboard. Lastly, he would like to own a pug.
(character background note: Brandon mildly resents his parents for denying him a dog as a kid, considering they each have a dog of their own now that he’s flown the coop. Indoor dogs, no less. Oh, the hypocrisy.)
Education: Brandon graduated with a film degree from Columbia Chicago. He was originally a guy in a band sitting through business classes until he woke up one day and realized how terrible such a combination actually was. From there he went into film. He speaks fondly of all his film-major-versions of general ed. Short film projects for biology class, and such. He happily admits that film school biology requirements are a total joke.
Music inspires him. Any music, really. And passionate people. Any size of passionate. To color his point, Brandon referenced the European man sitting next to him, who had earlier been detailing his nearly romantic relationship with Nutella. That man is passionate about Nutella. Brandon respects that. The original Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a real inspiration for him. Something about it’s ability to rattle the bones without the gore. Psychologically scary, that one. Brandon can’t say enough good things about Wet Hot American Summer.
Pride and Joy of the man who is the composite of all of these things: “Ass Period”—a touching story about a man who began to menstruate from his butt. The short film was made during his student years and won a film festival at a local Chicago pub. Also, “Fleshlighting.” Look it up, we’ll wait. Finally, the music video featuring the loveable goblin for the band Nekrogoblikon’s single, No One Survives. Huffington post named it the best music video of the year, and then a lot of adoring fans went and tattooed the goblin’s mug on their bicep. Talk about a cultural movement. Brandon is a man who can create one.